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I’ve been watching Masterchef: The Professionals. Not because of the usual blokey thing of “it’ll inspire me to go and whisk up an omelette” sense, but in the “I’m too broke to comfort eat, so I’ll watch people cooking instead” kind of way.

Now, its getting a bit samey - Masterchef, Celebrity Masterchef, etc… So I got thinking...

What we really need is Celebrity Chef Masterchef!!!

I’ve got episode 1 planned - Delia Smith, Gordon Ramsey and Jamie Oliver competing against each other. The Beeb could make this one interactive as well. “Just press the red button to place your bets on who wallops who first, with which implement, and how hot it is.”

Then, we could have the Masterchef: The Professionals Comic Relief/Children In Need (delete as appropriate) episode, where Bodie, Doyle and Cowley compete to find out who makes the best meal in the local nick canteen, using the best ingredients that you would find in a police station in the Seventies….

I really need to get out more….